Woody, a dear and genius friend (whom you'll meet later) was telling me about this cat he had seen on America's Funniest Home Videos. -- one of the most popular shows on TV, but not nearly so popular as would be America's Sexiest Home Videos, but whattya gonna do? Anyway, the cat yowled this string of sounds, and some clever chap had brain enough to put English subtitles at the bottom...which sounded amazingly like what the cat was actually yowling:

Long John Johnson! All the livelong day!

Now imagine Gracie Allen saying it...

Long John Johnson! All the livelong day!

Yes, that's it...

But to me, it wasn't the subtitles that cracked me up, but rather the possibility that the cat would actually think such a thing. I mean, one usually imagines a cat thinking something like:


I have descended from millennia of Pharoah guides, and I'll be damn if you are going to tell me squat.

I mean, for a cat to be yawping some cliche like a common couch potato...

Do I overstate the cat's worth? They are healers, you know!